i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Randomize
