didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
