Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
