I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
