just come out here and I will go home with you...
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
