it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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