Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
