spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
porn star boner night. come get it.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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