you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
