Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I just want nice things and good sex
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
