What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
