State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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