I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
