her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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