Yo dont text me then not text me
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
