You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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