she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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