my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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