How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
