I wish I only lived at night.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
