I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
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