I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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