How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
