I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
