she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
