i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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