just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
