Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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