Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize