idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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