Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Randomize
