It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
