3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
