she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
