In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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