I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
