I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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