help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
