Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
