my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
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