There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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