you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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