I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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