"it" just moved
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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