butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
