I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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