Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
