I think I just saw someone hide a body.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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