I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
