just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize