Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
