Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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