either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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