They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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