no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Randomize
