I'm laying in your front yard are you home
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
