Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
