I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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