CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Terrible idea I love it
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Randomize
