when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
