Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
