If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
