Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
We talked him into tasing himself.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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