Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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