Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
