i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
