Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
