i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
