I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
