thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
