How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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