do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Randomize
