Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Found your dick twin last night
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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