Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
