its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
