Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Just invented taco cereal.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
