My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
