you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
