i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
