Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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