he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
My pussy is not your playground.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Everyone says I win the strip club
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