I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
