Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
