I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
